On April 23 at about 4:45 AM, I felt a contraction. I felt some earlier that morning but I was too sleepy to let it register.  But this was a pain I could not ignore and I started to watch the clock.  The contractions were about 20 minutes apart but then they would disappear for a good chunk of time, maybe up till an hour, only to start up again. This went on for most of the day so I kept thinking that it was a false alarm and that the contractions would eventually go away for good and we would have to wait until another day.  I was in good spirits and was even contemplating going to a movie but when I did have contractions they were strong enough that I didn't feel like I could leave the house. The whole technique of walking around through your labor pains they taught you in the labor class did not appeal to me at all. All I wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch TV while dozing off in between contractions.  There is a really helpful contraction timer on The Bump.com by the way. 

So we could see that my contractions were gradually decreasing from being 20 minutes apart to 10 minutes apart over the course of the afternoon but still with long pauses in between ...pauses about 30 minutes apart. They were getting increasingly painful and I started really moaning and groaning on the couch.  The contractions I got after the long 30 minute pauses were especially painful as if it was building up in intensity over that time because the contractions after the 10 minute pauses were much more manageable in comparison.

 

After 13 hours of contractions, they were at the 10 minute apart mark and I decided to call into the OBGYN practice.  The practice has two doctors who both told me different things. One told me to call when my contractions were 10-15 minutes apart.  The other one told me 3-5 minutes apart.  So I thought being at 10 minutes apart was an OK time to call.  The doctor who recommended I call 3-5 minutes apart was on call that night so he called me back after I left a message with the phone service.  He told me to still hang out at home unless there are any changes like my water breaking or bleeding.  I didn't feel like I needed pain medication yet so we agreed that I would call him back when my contractions were 5 minutes apart. Before we hung up, he said that he would anticipate seeing me in the hospital within the next 12-15 hours.

Things progressed really quickly after that though.  My contractions were moving towards being 5 minutes apart.  First they decreased to 9 minutes apart, then 8 minutes apart, then 7 minutes apart ... and I was reaching the edge of my tolerable pain tolerance level.  I was really moaning now and must have been uncomfortable to look at because my mom would come into the room briefly to check on me but quickly leave again.  No mother really wants to see their daughter in that much pain.  And Clayton is really a by the book kind of guy and doesn't want to jump the gun on anything.  So he wasn't about to rush me to the hospital until I was getting those contractions down to 5 minutes even though my mother kept telling us to go already. 

Finally, my contractions were 5 minutes apart and the doctor told me to go into the hospital.  We left around 9:30 pm.  We pulled up to the Emergency Room of Greenwich Hospital and the valet attendant took our car.  He asked Clayton if I needed a wheelchair and Clayton said no, but without asking me first.  I guess I didn't really need one but now I am curious to know why he didn't check with me first before declining!  I hobbled my way down the hall, into the elevator, and then down the long hallway to the maternity ward.  This was 10 pm now and I was in a lot of pain.  The contractions were unrelenting and I wasn't getting much of a breather in between.  The hospital staff were asking me questions and I could barely talk and Clayton had to answer for me.  They checked me in and saw that I was 4-5 cm dilated so my epidural was ordered right away.  I had to be hooked up to the IV first and get a bag of fluids before I could receive the epidural.  This took a while but I think the anesthesiologist showed up around 11 pm so that was not bad.  He brought with him a boy of around middle school age doing a report on epidurals? anesthesia? and wanted to see my before and after face. You are kidding right?  Well, I said fine ok and he came in to see my before face and I said "Hii....OOOOOOOOOUCH!!".  And the anesthesiologist quickly shuffled the boy outside of the room and started on my epidural which was painful to receive but brought sweet, sweet relief almost immediately.  I was under the impression that it takes 20-30 minutes to kick in but it took effect immediately on me as I felt the trickle on my back.  The boy came in again and I was now able to talk normally for the first time in hours and I think I said something like "I thought I was going to die and now I don't feel like that anymore".

 

So Clay and I both hunkered down for some napping time.  I was exhausted from being in pain all day and I'm sure Clayton was exhausted from watching me be in pain all day.  There was a chair that pulled out for him to sleep on and the nurse brought him extra cozy blankets.  My labor nurse during the night was Mia who was a very gentle coach while talking me through the contractions...but that will come later. 

The details between getting my epidural and pushing are a little bit hazy as I was drifting in and out of sleep.  You are hooked up to a blood pressure cuff which ran just about constantly it seemed. Just as soon as you were back asleep, it would suck in again to take your blood pressure.  It squeezed my arm so many times that I had red marks left on my skin for days afterwards.  Mia came in every so often to check on how I was dilating.  After being 4-5 cm upon check-in, the next time I was 6-7 cm.  My water wasn't breaking so my OBGYN (Dr. Migotsky) broke it shortly after he arrived at 2 AM to speed things along.  At some point they also gave me Pitocin but I don't remember being told or asked that at all.  I only saw the empty bag of Pitocin hanging above me after I gave birth.  

They also monitor your temperature constantly along with your blood pressure, your heartbeat, and the baby's heartbeat.  My temperature was starting to creep up and eventually I came down with a fever so they had to start me on antibiotics in order to bring the fever down.  I think because of my fever and the fact that the baby wasn't really dropping to a negative station made it somewhat urgent that I start to push a little early -- before my body was fully ready for it.  The baby's heartbeat also dropped so I had to have on the oxygen mask for a while, too.  

So before I knew it, it was time to push. This was around 4:45 AM.  Your hospital bed is in a somewhat reclined position.  You have to curl up, like when doing sit-ups, pull both your legs up with your arms, and then do 3 pushes lasting for 10 seconds each.  You take a deep breath before each push and then push down really hard like when you are constipated, focusing all your energy on your rectal area!  You push with each contraction as they monitor on the machine.  Pushing for 10 seconds each time is no easy feat.  Getting your legs up in that position is really no easy feat since they are numb from the epidural.  So you need assistance doing this each time with the nurse holding one leg and my husband holding the other.  

I pushed and pushed for hours and hours.  They kept telling me I was making progress but you really start to question this after an hour has gone by and then another hour has gone by.  They started to tell me that they could see the top of her head peeking through so you think that you are near the end but I was no where near the end. My labor nurse, Mia, was great and would chat with me in between contractions and generally kept my spirits up. Clayton was next to me the whole time providing mostly silent, but effective support. 

At almost the 2 hour mark, I felt like I was almost there.  The labor nurse seemed to share the same opinion and was starting to communicate with my OB a lot more as he only really comes into the picture once I am ready to deliver the baby.  I guess when you're just about ready to deliver they put your legs up into the foot rests and shine a big bright light on your down there regions.  So they did this and I thought ok, almost done.  I want to note that I had a really nice labor room which had huge picture windows overlooking luscious treetops.  We could see the sun peeking through the tree branches and watched as the light gradually increased in intensity.  It was really a beautiful and serene morning and all the hospital staff kept commenting on how it was going to be a really beautiful day.  

Then I was told that I might have to stop (!) because my OB had to go assist next door in an emergency C-section for another OB's patient.  So is the downside of going to a small hospital...my OB was the only other doctor on call that night so he had to assist because the requirement is two surgeons for a C-section.  I had to stop pushing in case my OB was not around and still assisting in the surgery when I was ready to deliver the baby. 

So I indeed had to stop and while this was unfortunate, after 2 hours I was a bit relieved to get a break from pushing so I took another snooze for an hour.  At 8 AM, my doctor was back and I could resume pushing.  Mia, the labor nurse on the night shift, had gone home by now and was relieved by Donna.  Mia tried to stick around as long as she could.  Her shift was done at 7 AM and I remember her still being there around 7:30 because she wanted to see me finish off, I guess.  But finally I told her to just go home and get some rest!  At least someone should be sleeping and comfortable at this point!

At first I didn't know if I would like Donna.  She didn't have the same soothing and gentle presence of Mia who I had grown attached to after so many hours.  Donna was a lot more authoritative.  But turns out that was just what I needed after pushing for so long. It was time to really get down to business and Donna ordering me around a bit more was just the motivation I needed at that point.  

By now, my epidural was starting to wear off and I couldn't press for more because we were getting closer to delivery.  My epidural only wore off on my right side so I was a bit lopsided but having some sensation back actually makes pushing a lot easier.  It's quite difficult to know if you are pushing correctly when you have no feeling down there.  But once I had some sensation back, I *knew* when I was doing it correctly or incorrectly.  I could also feel my contractions coming on and I didn't need Donna to tell me when I was having a contraction anymore.  I knew when they were coming before she could do the reading on the monitoring machine.  

Donna kept telling me that I was almost done. At 8:30 AM she said this.  So it gave me some hope but then it didn't happen.  There was a clock on the wall right in front of me so I had been watching it all night long.  I think I was motivating myself through it all by going for 10 minute intervals. Ok, 10 minutes more...another 10 minutes...then another.... I honestly don't know where the strength comes from ... 

Finally, the end was actually there because my OB showed up and there was a flurry of activity.  I pushed and pushed with all my might. I could feel her head coming out and it felt really good.  Relief was on its way!  I don't know how many more pushes I did but you can feel the head out and then shoulders and then aaaaah, you're done!! (THREE AND A HALF HOURS IN TOTAL OF PUSHING!!)  I remember the doctor and nurses saying that wow, the baby is so long!  And then I felt so relieved that it was all over.  It was 9:26 am and just about 29 hours after I felt my first contraction and went into labor.

And then we heard that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, not once, but twice! So there was no cutting of the cord for daddy.  She had to be checked out right away from someone from the NICU department.  I think they were on stand by anyway since I had that fever and they needed to check her out.  They came into the room and checked her out under the warmer.  I could hear her crying after a few seconds and that sound was really music to my ears.  I was feeling a bit delirious and the nurse and Clayton were kind of in my way so it took me a little bit to get a glimpse of my daughter, Olivia.  Once I saw her I burst out into tears and I could see Clayton trying to hold back tears.  He didn't have too much to say since he was trying not to cry, I think.  

The doctor started up on me again, delivering the afterbirth and doing all the stitches.  The pain wasn't quite over with but luckily I could hit the epidural button again at that point and I think I hit it at least twice.  I didn't want to feel a thing anymore.  All of that took what seemed like forever and eventually Clayton was able to sit down and hold Olivia while they were finishing up with me.  Turns out that Olivia really was super long, 21.5 inches and 8 lbs 5 oz.  I was guessing 8 lbs 2 oz so I wasn't too far off. 

So finally the doctor was done with me and it seemed like everyone just disappeared and left the room as quickly as they came in.  It was just me, Clayton and Olivia then.  I wanted to carry her and Clayton placed her on my chest.  Her eyes were wide open and looking right at me.  I didn't expect that.  I thought that most babies didn't open their eyes for a while so that was a pleasant surprise.  She seemed really alert and focused on our first mother/daughter bonding moment.  I felt like everything was right in the world during that first meeting.  It all seemed very natural and not strange at all like how I was picturing it during the end of my pregnancy.  You have no way of knowing what you'll be thinking or feeling at that moment and all I was thinking was that it all felt very right. 

We were all hanging out for a while and I started to wonder when someone was going to come in and show me how to nurse.  You're told that you have to start nursing immediately but I didn't know exactly what to do of course even though I've read the books and taken the classes.  After a while, a nurse came in and I asked her to show me what to do and Olivia latched on pretty good right away.  She said that normally the first time goes pretty well.  I guess there is beginner's luck with breastfeeding as well.  

 

Since I shot myself up with that extra epidural at the end, I was going to be numb for quite some time, but still only on my left side.  The epidural wore off pretty quickly again on my right side, not sure why.  So the nurse had to come in and help me into a wheelchair and then it was off to the recovery area of the maternity ward.  I was definitely ready to stay goodbye to the labor room!!  And then began 2 days in the recovery room where it was just a haze of tending to my battle wounds, nursing constantly because your milk hasn't come in yet, dealing with the plethora of hospital staff that come in and out of your room for various reasons all throughout the day, and calling/emailing everyone you know to spread the good news.  At the end of it, you feel ready to go home, eat a good meal, shower, and enjoy life with your new baby!